July 3, 2020
The people who love me more than anyone else in the world are my young adult twins. We were all together this night. My daughter returned home on day 97 of my Shelter in place. My son returned day 101. After so many months alone; my daughter has now been home for almost 2 weeks; and my son home for about a week and a half.
I remember long ago my twins sitting me down and saying, “Mom, you have to understand… you are an extrovert, and we are both introverts!” A huge part of being in relationship is understanding the other. My twins have my number. It has been very difficult to be alone during the shelter in place. I openly say, that having my twins return home has prevented me from having to ask to increase my dose of anti-depressants.
These past two weeks have been my version of heaven. I am sleeping better, because I know where my children are. I laugh and marvel at that fact. Me, who said I would never have children; and after much therapy, decided in my early 30’s that having a family was something I was compelled to do. Thank GOD!
As both children have been home; we have had so many rich conversations. We have taken walks; sat together in silence on the deck or in the family area. Cooked together. Binge watched “Schitt’s Creek” and “New Girl”. Talked about politics. Talked about safety and responsibility in this time of COVID-19. Laughed at our two cats and my daughter’s dog trying to negotiate how to live together peacefully under the same roof.
Tonight we had “Fam” Cooking night. Part of their wish was to do more cooking with me to learn for their cooking in their homes. I directed the sous chefs/twins as we prepped and made three meals. We made Chicken Thighs with Sweet Potato, Apricot Glaze Curry sauce; Macaroni and Cheese and a Fish taco buffet for our dinner tonight using the Air Fryer to make the Cod. The twins picked the Spotify playlist and we chopped and talked and created together. My heart is full.
Sadly, my son has to return this weekend to his college home, as his region and place of employment has insisted on reopening; with many precautions. I am quite clear that the last 10 days has been a sacred gift. I know that part of having a family and raising children is to empower them to find out who they are, and the contribution they have to give during their time on this earth. And to set them free to do so. Thus, my deep appreciation that they would want to come home; and be together.
I know these times are becoming more and more fleeting, as my children build their lives. If/When they couple with someone, that will change things even more. For now, I will take whatever time we have to be “Fam”. I love my children so very, very much. And I know and feel how very, very much they love me.
As I say to those at end of life… you cannot take anything with you on this journey to the mystery beyond… the only thing you can take is the love you have given, and have received. That love is the fuel for the forward journey.
Thankful for for love to sustain me in these turbulent times of much needed change. Knowing their Father is with us in spirit and would have loved this night! Thankful for our beloved children!
