June 20, 2020
Part of the mix of death is remembering the legacy that is left for those who continue to live on this earth. This weekend my daughter graduated from college with her undergraduate degree. Her father is not on this earth to share this. He would have loved watching this milestone of our daughter. Grief comes back at these times of milestones and transitions.
Bill/Willie and I came together longing for children, and to be a family; and to provide emotional nurture in a way that both of us longed for within our own family systems and had not received. We dreamed of having children. We worked through many obstacles to achieve our family. We were not sure how our family would develop.. but we held out hope and faith. Finally, after many losses, our twins were born in 1998.
My partner and I had had many life lessons prior to our twins birth. My partner, more so than I; as he was 29 years my senior. I can say, for each of us… the defining moment of each of our lives was having children and building our family.
I feel my partner’s spirit with me and our daughter this weekend as she graduates. Even though he died in 2014; I know he is with us in spirit and he is proud. I have a candle with his face embedded upon the surface. I light that candle to bring his spirit back to us at times like these. During the graduation ceremonies and convocations this weekend, I have watched on the screen with Bill/Willie… through his candle and his ever present light.
As my son and I worked to create a collection of video messages for my daughter on the occasion of her graduation; I knew I needed to lift up her father’s voice. As Spirt works, I found something that makes sense.
Bill/Willie, was at his heart and soul; an activist. He served as a Campus Pastor for 16 years at University California, Berkeley. One part of his journey included work with the South Africa Anti-Apartheid movement.
As I searched for what I might share with our daughter, with her father’s voice; and in light of her presence with the protests in recent weeks, I stumbled upon something Bill/Wille wrote about his time at UC Berkeley and his work with he Anti-Apartheid movement. I recorded my reading of Bill/Willie’s memory for our daughter. I share that this night as my prayer for the future… for our children… for our world.
Having children is an act of faith. However our children come to us… longing to raise children is an act of faith. We hope that we might share some of what we have learned to help them on their path. But in the end; their journey is their journey.
I pray for the onward journey of our children… that we pass on pieces and they find those they wish to pick up; and continue to work on… to make a better world for all.
Oh my heart… I so wish Bill/Willie… my partner, my best friend, my husband… was on this earth to celebrate the journey our daughter is on. I have faith he is aware and present in a spiritual sense.
May it be so….