June 29, 2020
Practice loving-kindness toward yourself today. That’s what my morning prompt from my calm.com app said.
This is not easy. I have been programed to be a caregiver. I am a 2 on the Enneagram. I find value by helping. I have a 1 wing on the Enneagram. I have battled perfection and people pleasing and a fierce inner critic in my head, most of my life.
As part of the process toward ordination, I was required to have a psychological evaluation. And I passed. AND more so, I found it a valuable experience to review my life journey, receive feedback about the work I have done, and the steps I have made to understand and heal and redirect.
The caregiving and helping is a blessing and a curse. I know this well. It is because of these traits I am good at listening to others, and accompanying them. It is because of these traits that I have been known to ignore my own needs.
When the Psychologist presented her findings and report to me, I allowed myself to soak in what she said, and feel proud. There were so many positive insights about my resilience and my way of making sense of the darkness and challenges, and still see light.
The Psychologist did offer a charge to me at the conclusion of her presentation… she said that in my daily affirmations, where I give thanks for myself, and then branch out to my family, my friends, my community, the world; that I should just stop for awhile after myself. That I needed to love on myself for a bit. I needed to turn all that I give to others, inward, for a concentrated amount of time.
I have been working on that charge. So today when I received the prompt to practice loving-kindness toward myself; I knew what to do.
I worked in my garden.
I cleared clutter.
I cooked and ate healthy food.
I gave myself hugs.
I sat in the sunshine.
I paused to watch the mourning dove nesting atop her eggs.
I appreciated my accomplishments.
I took a long walk.
I felt my breath; in and out.
I acknowledged that I am sufficient.
I gave thanks for my life, my health, my resilience, my peace.
I had a good day.
I recommend and offer this prompt to others; take one day and really focus on loving-kindness toward self. And I recommend the calm.com resources!
Here are affirmations offered with today’s prompt; and I’ll offer it as a prayer…
for each human being on earth:
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be at peace.
May it be so…